One year ago today we went to the hospital, dressed our newborn baby boy, gave a long embrace to M {holding back the tears until my complete breakdown in the car} and brought him to his new home. It was a special day I want to preserve forever. In retrospect, I see now that I was in "auto" mode that day... so overwhelmed at the emotion, so afraid that something was going to go wrong, and just the newness of it all that I just walked through the motions, unable to fully grasp what was happening.
Everyone tells you to appreciate the moment... that your children are going to grow up so fast. I'm not sure I truly understood what that meant until now (though perhaps I will continue to learn that as I get older). I can't believe it's been a year. Ezra is walking, learning to talk, and developing his own little personality. It's like a push and pull between not wanting him to grow up but also looking forward to seeing who he becomes.
Even with all the waiting, the process and the anticipation, I'm not sure I really could have anticipated the joy that has been Ezra. Nor do I think I anticipated all the work that parenthood really is (all worth it of course). Adoption, parenthood... it's such an education journey... and on so many levels. It's humbling to think of all that Genilson and I have learned since we started the process 21 months ago... about ourselves, about family, about our relationship. And it's even more humbling to think of all the learning that's still to come.
Happy Birthday Ezra. You are a gift.
