1 Down, 2 to Go

Just finished our first home study appointment.

"What's a home study again?"

All states require prospective adoptive parents to participate in a "home study" prior to being approved to adopt. The process has three objectives:
1) To help educate and prepare families wanting to adopt;
2) To gather information on the adoptive family that will help the social worker match the family with the right birth family and/or child;
3) To evaluate whether a family is "fit" to take care of a new child.

The last objective is perhaps the most intimidating... how can anyone decide whether you are "fit" to parent? What if...? I think we all know deep down whether or not we will be "fit" - or perhaps better phrased - good parents. "Good" parents certainly does not equate "perfect" parents. After all, who's perfect? Do perfect parents even exist? Rest assured, as soon as we started chatting with our social worker this evening, it was clear right away that we weren't expected to be perfect... just human, and prepared for the challenges of parenting.

Contrary to what many people assume, the home study process isn't entirely about doing a "home inspection" (think Friends when Monica is frantically cleaning the apartment before their their home study even more than she usually does... if that's even possible). While the final visit does include a sort of "inspection" to ensure that the house is safe and suitable for a growing child, it's actually more about building a solid relationship with an adoptive family so their social worker can make solid recommendations regarding whether they should be able to adopt a child, and what would make a good match.

I have to admit, however, that no matter how many times people told us this - that the house didn't need to be perfect, and that it's not about how clean the house is, but more about the interviews - I couldn't help but go a little bit out of my way this afternoon to clean the house a little more than usual, give the dog a bath... oh... and make pumpkin muffins (something I never do). Genilson chuckled at me as I paced the house about 30 minutes before our social worker arrived - setting the tea out, changing my hair, asking him to change his shirt (ok, perhaps he didn't chuckle at that one)... cleaning the toilet... and then low and behold, our social worker arrives, I offer tea, coffee, muffins?... and she politely declines saying it's sweet, but not necessary. Two hours go by, and she doesn't use the bathroom either (Did I really think she'd be impressed by my super clean sink and extra hand towels anyway?)...

Oh well... the meeting went smoothly, and that's what's important. :)

Thanks for reading.

Michael Oher + 'The Blind Side'

In honor of National Adoption Month (November), WORLD magazine did a great little story on Michael Oher - his journey through homelessness, as a transracial adoptee, and into the NFL - also the story behind the new film starring Sandra Bullock entitled "The Blind Side" (which we have yet to see... but definitely plan on it).

According to the article, Oher grew up in the projects of New Orleans, was addicted to crack cocaine and living on the streets by the age of 15, and in the eyes of many, had "no future" ahead of him. Practically by mere coincidence, Oher came to know the Tuohy family - family owners of fast food chains such as KFC, Taco Bell and Long John Silver - who through various ups and downs decided to give Oher a place to stay.

Recently, Oher was nominated as NFL's 'Rookie of the Year' and as mentioned above, a book and film have been written about his life experiences.

There is no doubt in our mind that Oher's adoption journey was tough. Perhaps what is most beautiful about the story - at least the story as it is portrayed in "The Blind Side" - is the way in which Oher's adoption by the Tuohy family not only helped "change" Oher's future, but in turn, actually changed the adoptive family. It wasn't about "saving" - but about coming together as a family and growing together.

One scene, depicted in the film's preview, displays Ms. Tuohy (Leigh Ann, played by Bullock) speaking with an older woman who points out how much she is "changing" Oher's life. Leigh Ann's response is, "No, he's changing mine".

Thanks for reading...

Happy + Healthy

Today we headed to Kaiser for our 'adoption physicals'. Having your physician fill out mounds of paperwork on your medical history is just another part of the long adoption process... great thing is it brings us one step closer to becoming parents. :)

We just got back from Cambodia on Friday - where it was super hot - so it's been difficult to readjust back to the cold weather of NorCal. The doctor chuckled a bit at Genilson as she was examining him - Genilson had been so cold this morning before going to the doctor that he had put on thermals under his jeans, which he then tucked into some heavy duty socks with heavy boots on... he had so much on that the doctor couldn't find his ankles to take his pulse! Genilson responded to the doctor's giggles with "I'm from Brazil!"

Being in Cambodia over the past few weeks was great... it really gave us a chance to reconnect with friends, practice some good 'ole Khmer, and best of all, re-imagine what it will be like to return to Cambodia... this time as parents. Definitely a great trip...

Today we got the chance to speak with our assigned home study social worker - who we will call "R" (for privacy's sake) - and we have our first home study visit this Wednesday! Eek! So exciting! Now we will have "news" to share with the fam on Thanksgiving... (at least about how the first visit went). We're super excited to be able to get going on these visits so soon... this will be the first of three visits all together...

Thanks so much for all of your support -
We love you,

Raising a Family in Phnom Penh

"So... now that you are starting a family are you still planning on moving back to Cambodia?"

While I'm not sure people have asked this question quite as bluntly, it does seem to be a question people wonder about... Is it safe to raise a family in Cambodia? Will your child be able to go to school? Will your children have friends to play with? Is Cambodia a good place to raise a family?

The answer to these questions... at least in the context of our situation... are yes, yes and yes! In fact, we are excited about the prospect of raising our family in a country so close to our hearts. Yes, Cambodia is a developing nation. Yes, we will face challenges that may not be the case in the U.S. or Brazil. However, the Cambodian capital of Phnom Penh is actually a fine place to raise a family as long as you are willing to be creative and flexible. After all, there are both benefits and challenges to living practically anywhere.

Known at one time as the "Pearl of Asia" Phnom Penh is a beautiful and charming city. Though it is perhaps crowded, dusty, plagued with many social problems, and still recovering from previous times of war, it remains home to lots of beautiful monuments, exquisite colonial french architecture, artistic studios, and quiet cafes where expats and Cambodians alike enjoy spending their afternoons with a book, a latte and a friend or two. (Photo above: The Royal Palace in Phnom Penh)

The Cambodian government welcomes humanitarian, religious and intergovernmental organizations from around the world, not to mention international businesses, allowing for a tremendously diverse community of foreigners/expats coming from countries such as the UK, Switzerland, Australia, New Zealand and the United States, most of whom reside in Phnom Penh. Because of this growing community, there are several options when it comes to educating one's children and connecting them with children of a similar age and background. In Phnom Penh alone, there are at least four international schools, all of which base their primary and secondary school curriculums on standards from nations such as the US or the UK. The school we have our eye on is Hope International School, based on the UK national curriculum, preschool up to high school, with an enrollment over 250 expat children. (Photo Courtesy of Hope School).

We are proud to be working for an organization that highly values family. Because each of our jobs in Cambodia will be somewhat flexible, we are excited about the opportunity to take an active role in our child's upbringing without a heavy dependency on outside child care. We are not sure this would be the case if living and working within the United States. We are equally excited to raise our child in an environment that, although crowded and busy, is also slow and laid back. Our child will have the opportunity to learn and grow in the midst of a very multicultural and diverse community, while still maintaining a strong identity in their roots as we travel to visit extended family in Brazil and the USA.

Fair Trade Baby Products... Handmade in Cambodia

As we spend 3 weeks in Cambodia, it's been fun to share news with friends and colleagues regarding our adoption plans.

For this year's November member meeting, Chab Dai invited member organizations to participate in a "product fair"... each organization had the opportunity to display and sell products sewn or produced by their clients (many have projects focused on income generation, so the clients going through rehabilitation learn skills in sewing or jewelry making). The fair not only gave organizations the chance to show off the work of their clients, but also gave the rest of us a chance to do some Christmas shopping!

While shopping for Christmas goodies, we excitedly ran across some great baby products now being made by some of Chab Dai's members. Because these products support fair trade ethics and the income generation efforts of great organizations combating trafficking and exploitation (plus the products are totally adorable, unique + fashionable), we couldn't resist getting a few things...

So what did we get?

1) A baby mei tai made by Daughters Cambodia. Mei tais are all the rage for baby carriers in Australia & New Zealand these days, often referred to as the "Asian baby carrier" since they originated in China. Similar to "moby wraps" commonly used in the U.S., this carrier can carry a baby on the front or back. Daughters is a great program in Cambodia that helps women and girls who are sexually exploited. They help clients learn to sew, decorate cakes and make jewelry. The mei tai we chose is black + red with with a piece of traditional cloth sewn on the front from Mondulkiri, a primarily tribe hill area in northeastern Cambodia (Photos: R - Our mei tai from Daughters)

2) A charming, hand-sewn diaper bag set, created by Sak Saum, an organization focused on teaching vulnerable women sewing and business skills. They make some great products. Our black and white diaper bag set comes with a tote, changing pad, sling and nursing cover - all hand sewn, beautiful and unique. (Pictures to come)