1 Down, 2 to Go

Just finished our first home study appointment.

"What's a home study again?"

All states require prospective adoptive parents to participate in a "home study" prior to being approved to adopt. The process has three objectives:
1) To help educate and prepare families wanting to adopt;
2) To gather information on the adoptive family that will help the social worker match the family with the right birth family and/or child;
3) To evaluate whether a family is "fit" to take care of a new child.

The last objective is perhaps the most intimidating... how can anyone decide whether you are "fit" to parent? What if...? I think we all know deep down whether or not we will be "fit" - or perhaps better phrased - good parents. "Good" parents certainly does not equate "perfect" parents. After all, who's perfect? Do perfect parents even exist? Rest assured, as soon as we started chatting with our social worker this evening, it was clear right away that we weren't expected to be perfect... just human, and prepared for the challenges of parenting.

Contrary to what many people assume, the home study process isn't entirely about doing a "home inspection" (think Friends when Monica is frantically cleaning the apartment before their their home study even more than she usually does... if that's even possible). While the final visit does include a sort of "inspection" to ensure that the house is safe and suitable for a growing child, it's actually more about building a solid relationship with an adoptive family so their social worker can make solid recommendations regarding whether they should be able to adopt a child, and what would make a good match.

I have to admit, however, that no matter how many times people told us this - that the house didn't need to be perfect, and that it's not about how clean the house is, but more about the interviews - I couldn't help but go a little bit out of my way this afternoon to clean the house a little more than usual, give the dog a bath... oh... and make pumpkin muffins (something I never do). Genilson chuckled at me as I paced the house about 30 minutes before our social worker arrived - setting the tea out, changing my hair, asking him to change his shirt (ok, perhaps he didn't chuckle at that one)... cleaning the toilet... and then low and behold, our social worker arrives, I offer tea, coffee, muffins?... and she politely declines saying it's sweet, but not necessary. Two hours go by, and she doesn't use the bathroom either (Did I really think she'd be impressed by my super clean sink and extra hand towels anyway?)...

Oh well... the meeting went smoothly, and that's what's important. :)

Thanks for reading.