Babies

As Production Not Reproduction (another adoption blogger I follow) wisely put, the way we usually celebrate Mothers Day (and Fathers Day, Valentines Day, for that matter) distinctly divides people into two categories - either you're an insider, or you're an outsider. You're a mother (father/valentine), or you're not a mother (father/valentine). If you aren't necessarily desiring to be an insider, this may not be a big deal. If you are, it's a whole different story. Personally, as someone who is currently "in-between" (though sometimes feeling inadequately in-between since I don't have the "belly" to prove it) - not quite a mother yet, but hoping and praying to be one very soon - I wasn't sure what feelings and emotions to anticipate as Mothers Day came closer.

I decided early on that I didn't want to sulk. This was much easier said than done of course - Genilson and I did have several melancholy moments on our way to a Mothers Day lunch, asking God why it hasn't happened for us yet (why? oh why?) - but I knew and was determined that I did not want to be miserable all day. I wanted to celebrate motherhood, not feel depressed about it... after all, motherhood is what I've been yearning for throughout this entire process, not something I want to feel awful about.

As I contemplated what to get my own mother and grandmother for Mothers Day this year, I extended my decision not to be gloomy by making another decision. I knew the documentary film Babies was coming out Mothers Day weekend, I knew I wanted to see it, and I figured since my mom and grandma were perhaps the best people to see it with... why not see it on Mothers Day? Yes, of course I questioned whether watching a film about babies would just make me more depressed on an already difficult day. But I decided I wouldn't let it. Instead of watching the film through the perspective that motherhood is something I don't currently have, I decided to see it from the outlook that motherhood is a blessing still to come.

I'm so thankful I did. I got to spend the afternoon enjoying and laughing at the sweetness, simplicity and hilarity that is babies with the two mothers who had a direct hand in my own upbringing. Babies is beautifully done; it celebrates motherhood in ways that no other film could, and though I maybe walked away wanting to join the community of motherhood even more than I did before (not sure that's possible, but maybe), I'm glad I chose to celebrate the beauty and mystery of motherhood on such an appropriate day to do so. x

{For those of you who haven't heard about it, Babies is a new documentary by French filmmaker Thomas Balmès who simultaneously follows four babies around the world - Namibia, Mongolia, Japan, US - starting at birth up until their first steps. It shows us that while cultures have distinctly different ways of caring for their children, "babyhood" still looks strikingly similar no matter where or who you are. Highly recommended.}

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