April Showers

Some very generous ladies from Sunrise (church) blessed us last Saturday with a lovely baby shower in preparation for our little one (no, no word yet... still waiting). Some snapshots...








{a good friend's little one... our youngest guest}



Such nice gifts (lots of yellow + green!)... hopefully baby will come along soon. x

Bill of Rights

Many may know me as a bit of a human rights "enthusiast" due to my involvement in the anti human trafficking movement. While I'm not sure about such a title, I do think it's always important to consider the fundamental rights of every person... and this certainly applies to adoption, and perhaps especially the adopted child.

As I've mentioned before, it's very important to consider the child's best interest when thinking about and considering any kind of adoption. Thanks to Pact for this great resource entitled, "A Transracially-Adopted Child's Rights".

• Every child is entitled to love and full membership in her family.
• Every child is entitled to have his culture embraced and valued.
• Every child is entitled to parents who know that this is a race conscious society.
• Every child is entitled to parents who know that she will experience life differently than they do.
• Every child is entitled to parents who are not looking to "save" him or to improve the world.
• Every child is entitled to parents who know that transracial adoption changes the family forever.
• Every child is entitled to be accepted by extended family members.
• Every child is entitled to parents who know that, if they are white, they benefit from racism.
• Every child is entitled to parents who know that they can't transmit the child's birth culture if it is not their own.
• Every child is entitled to have items at home that are made for and by people of his race.
• Every child is entitled to daily opportunities of positive experiences with his birth culture.
• Every child is entitled to build racial pride within his own home, school and neighborhood.
• Every child is entitled to have many opportunities to connect with adults of the child's race.
• Every child is entitled to parents who accept, understand and empathize with her culture.
• Every child is entitled to learn survival, problem-solving, and coping skills in a context of racial pride.
• Every child is entitled to take pride in the development of a dual identity and a multicultural/multiracial perspective on life.
• Every child is entitled to find his multiculturalism to be an asset and to conclude, "I've got the best of both worlds."

Many of these may seem "obvious" to some - but I guarantee they are not "obvious" to all, especially in practice and in everyday life.

As far as our being matched for adoption, no news yet. Please keep praying for a match soon. x

Still Waiting

Waiting, waiting. I look at my little Lilypie ticker on the right of the page, and it states so far we've been on our adoption journey for exactly 5 mos, 1 wk and 4 days... officially "waiting" for 1 month and 3 weeks.

1 month and 3 weeks... somehow, it seems like each day has moved really slowly, while at the same time all together quickly... it doesn't make logical sense, but somehow it's true. Some days it feels like I'm going absolutely crazy with anticipation (not to mention impatience), and other days it doesn't seem "so bad" - though the moment I start thinking about it, fears about it "never" happening begin to creep in and I have to push them away and keep moving. The 3-6 months "average" time frame presented at the beginning of the adoption process doesn't seem so bad until you're actually living it.

Working on our owl inspired nursery every now and then has been one way of keeping myself occupied and hopeful outside of work. Mom and I have gone on a couple trips to local fabric/craft shops to seek out owl fabrics and fun patterns for some homemade projects (boppy pillow cover, shopping cart cover, diaper caddy to name a few...). Of course, I also have my eye on a couple super cute things on Etsy.

In the meantime we continue to wait as patiently as we can with hopes that we will have something more to report soon! x

Dollars + Cents

It's the question lots want to ask but perhaps it's just too nosy or awkward. "Exactly how much does adoption cost?"... and quite possibly, "How are you guys affording this?" It's no secret that Genilson and I are not incredibly wealthy. Doing ministry or working for a small non-profit isn't exactly something you do for the money.

The expenses of adoption are complicated. It's illegal to buy a human being for any reason (she says, the director of an anti-human trafficking organization), including for adoption. At the same time, however, there are expenses that go along with what's involved in the adoption process: the home study, criminal background checks, adoption education, travel, legal fees, facilitation services, administrative expenses, health care expenses (for the baby and birth mother), and the list goes on and on... not to mention that once your baby arrives you have the same expenses any new parents would have!

The numbers vary according to who you ask, but adoption expenses in the United States vary from $0 (Fost-Adopt) to $20,000 (average for private agency adoption), to over $40,000 (usually independent adoption). For the breakdown of one survey, look here.

When deciding on what adoption agency we were going to work with, the expenses were confusing. Some agencies charged over $20,000 for their services alone (not including travel, legal, etc.) while others charged under $10,000.

Our choice to go with Pact had to do with several factors, but one major determining factor was its sliding fee scale, based on the adoptive parents' income. We knew we wanted an agency that approached the financial issue with integrity, and with the guarantee that money was not their motive for arranging adoptions, the sole determining factor in "how fast" a baby would come, or the "kind" of baby we were going to get (yes, that happens).

The good news about adoption expenses is the IRS offers an adoption tax credit of up to about $12,500. Frankly, without this credit, I'm not sure we could afford any of this. There are also several adoption grants, usually based on need, that adoptive parents can apply for if they need additional financial assistance. We decided to apply for three grants that seemed promising for our particular situation.

So... in conclusion, yes, adoption is pretty pricey. Our adoption will probably be between $13,000 and $18,000. But there's hope, it's doable, and we believe it all to be worth it. x